I felt compelled to write about a topic known as the Mom Bag after writing my last blog, ILostMyS#$TatToysRUs. The Mom Bag saved my Christmas after all, and it deserves a little recognition.
For anyone who isn’t sure, you don’t make a Mom Bag, a Mom Bag makes itself. After you have a child you have something called a diaper bag, out of this evolves the Mom Bag.
A Mom Bag has a variety of items, and can hold up to and including the weight of at least one of your children. It is thoroughly indestructible.
It has various clothing options for every type of apocalyptic climate change you could fathom. With the general “end of the world” theme, you will also find full meals and drinks that if rationed out could keep you alive for days on end, or at least, your child relatively calm on a mall trip.
I won’t forget to mention the medical supplies; band aids, fever reducers, alcohol swabs, and leftover antibiotics. There are at least two sippy cups, from various stages in your child’s development, and there are miscellaneous restaurant crayons. Mom Bags hold your car keys; you just will never find them. Your cell phone will ring at the bottom of your Mom Bag; it will come out with a sticky substance all over it. Mom Bags have your stuff in them also; make up, wallet, etc. However, whatever that sticky substance is, will totally be all over it. There is at least one dollar worth of pennies hanging out in the very bottom of the Mom Bag, but you’ll never use them, because of that damn sticky stuff.
If you happen to go somewhere without your child, you will bring your Mom Bag. This is because you yourself start to depend on the Mom Bag for your own needs. You start to wonder what you ever did before Mom Bag. How did you live your life without wet wipes? You need that sippy cup to take your vitamins. You start to shake if you touch something and cannot Purell afterwards. What if the sun gets too strong, and you need an SPF face stick? You realize that you have low blood sugar and those gummies that stick to the pennies in the bottom of your bag are necessary for moderately long car rides!
I don’t care how much you paid for your Mom Bag, they all look the same. So much so, that my husband took to going through another woman’s Mom Bag at the park the other day, thinking it was mine. He was looking for my car keys, but he didn’t find hers either.
Me and my awesome Mom Bag. Bre stares lovingly at it.
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