Friday, January 11, 2013

Barbie Has Her Head On Straight... Until My Kid Rips It Off One Day.

Children have a tendency to choose the most direct, honest and rational approach to situations. They are fresh and pure; untouched by society’s expectations and moral corruptions. Maybe getting advice from the unmarred perspective of my three year old could prove beneficial? Recently I tested this hypothesis with a Barbie play session.
I was handed my designated Barbie, in her inappropriately short dress, stripper shoes and hooker make-up, and really took a moment to get into character. The only stage directions I was given were that I be the bad guy, and she be the good guy.
My Barbie, or as my daughter had named her, “Doris”, was the bad guy. Bre’s multicolored hair Barbie, so aptly named, “Hair Cut Barbie”, was the good guy.
Scene – outside the Barbie dream house, in the “garden”.
Scene 1, Act 1
I decided to base Doris’ character on a mean girl experience I had at the playground when I moved to my new neighborhood.
Doris: Welcome to the neighborhood, Hair Cut Barbie. I really don’t have time to be your friend, but if you want to hang out with my nanny you can.
Hair Cut Barbie: You are so not FABULOUS! Karate chops Doris with long purple/pink/blue hair.
Scene 2, Act 2                 
Doris was based on a lady that stands way too close to me in Zumba class.
Doris: Let’s dance; I’m going to stand this close to you. I’m not going to move, and I’ll hit you with my hand all the time. I also don’t know my left from my right, so grape vines are going to get messy. Starts dancing.
Hair Cut Barbie: Karate chops Doris with long purple/pink/blue hair.
Hair Cut Barbie celebrates her victory over her foes.

I suppose living life like a three year old playing Barbies could have its benefits. Maybe we should all go out there, figuratively donning our platform heels, blue eye shadow and spaghetti strapped cocktail dresses and give the world the preschooler version of ourselves.
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