Friday, March 22, 2013

Etsy is like Craig’s List?

Yeah. So I decided to give Etsy a whirl. Quickly I discovered that it’s not just your average crafty mom, (the ones who are crocheting huge baby head pieces with large pink flowers) that are looking at your Etsy page.

So, when I made a small sale of some Spanish teaching stuff, It didn't even occur to me that I could be communicating with a violent criminal. It was a whole predatory scam, just to meet and contact women. I sent my product to their address, and got it back with a huge stamp on it saying that I needed their inmate number... Great!

I didn’t realize that Etsy is a bit like Craig’s list… except instead of abused furniture and shady apartments for sublet, its upcycled children’s clothing and monogrammed mom jewelry.

I knew that Craig’s List was a place for serial killers to schmooze their way into your home, but Etsy? Don’t they specialize in moms who sell other moms their homemade crafty wares? Like cozy knitted scarves and sticky wall murals and vintage crap made into oversized bags? Is there nowhere safe to do e-commerce?

Here are a few tips to avoid getting stalked by an inmate on Etsy.

1.       No pictures of yourself. Anywhere on the site. You might not need to be told this. However, if you are like me, where pastel web design lures you into a false sense of security, you need this spelled out for you.

2.       Just clicking the button that says “female” on your profile really is all it takes to excite the lonely inmate… so don’t do that.

3.       Use a fake name – is a bitch.

4.       Get a P.O. Box… for all the obvious reasons.

So let’s say you’ve made contact with a lonely inmate.

1.       When they start begging you to call them on their phone during their allotted payphone time, cancel your account.

2.       Have your mom phone harrass their social worker, to find out exactly how violent they are, when they’re getting out and if they are allowed into your state. (Thanks, Mom!)

3.       Start thinking about who is going to star as you, when this whole thing goes to pot and Lifetime purchases the rights to your story. “The Etsy Killer; Crafty Moms, Monogrammed Jewelry and Murder”

I guess I just don’t think like a lonely inmate. Where, instead of or e-harmony, I would try to find “the one” by creating an Etsy account and feigning an interest in beginner level Spanish worksheets for middle schoolers. It just seems like a roundabout way to find love.

Then again, don't knock it til you've tried it?
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  1. OK, my jaw just dropped when I read this. I have heard all the scary stuff about Craigslist and my husband has sold some stuff on there: our old furniture, 2 cars, some motorcycle parts and it always drove me crazy that these people would come to my house!! But I never heard of THAT with the Etsy site. Call me naive but, like you, I guess I just don't think like an inmate.

    Love that your mom is crusading on your behalf!!

    Penny at Green Moms and Kids

    1. I'm glad you get the whole naive thing, I had no clue people thought like that. Although now it seems kind of obvious... ugh!

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  3. OMG.. this is c r a z y!! But funny in a warped kind of way. Great to know we have a criminal system that supports fostering romantic liasons via innocent women just selling their stuff. Thank God for kick ass mom's. Where would we be without them.. oh yeah, married to the

  4. Hi,

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